Is 50 the New 30??

I’m not going to hide from it. I am turning 50 this year. A year and a half ago I attended my 30th high school reunion and reconnected with a number of people from my youth who are also turning 50 this year. Suddenly I’m noticing the statement, “50 is the new 30″ being thrown around.  Hmm, I ponder. Is it true, or are we just fooling ourselves?

I’ve always believed that age is very much a state of mind, yet decorum and a dose of reality do come into play.  I have four beautiful mini skirts hanging in my closet that I can’t bear to part with, but I know will never again see the light (or dark) of day, at least on my body.  I can’t leave the house now without a pair of glasses because I can’t read a menu, ingredients on a label, or anything I might have to sign my name to without help. And the gray hair that I have inherited has made me recognize that I can choose to replace it with any color that I want.

If these are the biggest grievances I have about turning 50 (and they are!), then I consider myself pretty darn blessed. Although I still fit into and wear clothes I had long before I was 30, I’ve come to the conclusion that, at least for me, I don’t feel 30. And that’s a good thing.

Why 50 is better than 30:

• I’ve come to value a nice man over a bad boy.
• It’s no longer all about me.
• I’ve come to prefer authenticity over sizzle.
• I’m way comfortable with myself.
• I cherish every moment with my parents.
• I’ve come to value meaning over money.
• I’m in touch with the fact that I’m not going to live forever.
• I no longer care about what people think.
• I think about how much I am blessed.
• I’ve experienced some painful, challenging times and have come out stronger.
• I’ve learned to trust myself.
• I’ve taken some big risks and survived.
• I’ve learned that being true to myself is more important than security.

Am I missing something in the “50 is the new 30″ statement? If so, please enlighten me.

10 Life Lessons from My Dad on His 74th Birthday

Today is my father’s 74th birthday. I recognize how blessed I am to be able to share it with him, and I don’t want to wait until he’s gone to reflect on what I’ve learned from him. In no particular order:

1. Give help without being asked.
2. Hard work really does pay off.
3. It is possible to create a new life in foreign land.
4. You don’t have to hold a college degree to be intelligent and educated.
5. Love is expressed by what you do, not what you say.
6. Having someone you can count on is one of the greatest gifts in life.
7. What’s inside is more important than what it looks like on the outside.
8. A strong commitment will keep you going when the road gets rough.
9. Don’t ever assume you know how a person will respond.
10. Don’t take  your blessings for granted. Life can change in an instant.

Jack Canfield: Merging Business and Spiritual Principles for Success

Last weekend I went out in search of a book that could set me into the new year with an inspired focus on the unlimited possibilities that I know are true for all of our lives. I came home with Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. The title perfectly expressed what I was looking for.

Fifty seven pages into the read, the book has surpassed what I set out to receive. It’s not that the principles that Jack Canfield writes about are new, it’s that his ideas are a rare mix of spirituality and business. They’re grounded in practicality and yet they speak to the soul. He reminds me that it’s possible to achieve your dreams, but first you need to get in touch with those dreams, break them down into goals, and above anything else, believe in your ability to bring your dreams to life.

I sat down to do a couple of different exercises, and it blew me away to discover just how vague I am about what I really want from my life.  How can I focus on building the life of my dreams if I haven’t focused on what my dreams clearly look like?

Jack Canfield has left me with a number of gems so far:

1. Believing in yourself is essential to success. If you can’t believe in your ability to succeed with something, ask yourself why not? Identify what you need to do to feel confident about your ability to succeed and do it.
2. Get clear on your vision and create very specific goals. The more definition you place on what you want to achieve, the better equipped your mind is to support the building.
3. Make a habit of focusing on what you want to create through visualization and mental review of your goals. Keep your visions and the energy that supports them engaged and fully alive. Review your goals several times a day.
4. Carry a written description of your most important goal with you. Make it a part of your life by reviewing it constantly.

If you haven’t already, take the time to create a vision of your ideal life, and break that vision into specific goals. You can never be too clear on what you want to create.

Tips for Creating an Abundant Life

Like you, perhaps, I’ve been thinking about what I want to create in the New Year of 2009.  When I focus my complete attention on creating my life, a few things come up that I know are vital to the process:

1. A clear vision: Knowing specifically what you want to create enables you to play an active role in building it. Vague goals don’t give you anything solid to believe in, visualize or reach for.
2. Give yourself permission to be prosperous. Financial success comes from thinking that prosperity is your natural right, just as much as breathing.  Work on making this belief your habit if it isn’t already.
3. Adjust your beliefs about your life with what you want your life to be. Become keenly aware of that little voice that is constantly telling you what it thinks is possible for you and make the commitment to override it with statements about what you want to be true for you.
4. Understand the power of visualization and use it to create the reality you want. Think of yourself as a co-creator of your life and see visualization as your tool for molding your creation. Read more about visualization.
5. Make a habit of consciously creating your life. Start each day focusing on your vision, be sure that your beliefs are aligned with your vision and follow through with a visualization that brings your vision to life.

Related articles:

How to Consciously Create Your Day – Part 2

How to Consciously Create Your Day

Lighted Boat Parade Making Holidays Merry

San Rafael Lighted Boat Parade

Eleven years ago I came home from my holiday shopping spree to discover a lighted boat parade happening along the canal I’d moved alongside two months prior. Boats decorated with lights in all colors and holiday shapes drifted through the water to the sounds of holiday carols and voices yelling, “Merry Christmas!” I’ve never been a parade kind of person, yet this event has since been a remarkable expression of joy that I never want to miss.

Last night I shared the event with the six people who are closest to my heart, and now I want to share it with you. Click on this link for a 2 minute chunk of holiday cheer. http://tinyurl.com/7qnl7c

Happy Holidays!

Bad Times Bring Big Faith

The Silicon Valley chapter of Experience Unlimited, ProMatch, a state sponsored career resource center, has swelled to maximum capacity while a list holds names of unemployed professionals waiting to get in. The volume is so strained that the maximum membership time has been reduced from 9 months to 6 months in an effort to support more people.

The New York Times this weekend reported similar crowd scenes, yet in a different type of venue.  The article opened by describing an affluent Long Island town evangelical church so packed that an overflow room with closed-circuit TV with 100 folding chairs set up to accommodate the crowd. Similar stories were reported in Seattle, Brooklyn, and other cities throughout the country.

Bad times draw big crowds in church. It seems that fear returns us to that faith that there is something to believe in that will enable us to feel safe.

If we can feel safe in the most challenging of times, then isn’t the challenge worth where we’ve arrived?

Meditation: Priceless Gifts for Free

I hate to admit this, but I’ve been neglecting my meditation practice lately, big time. I’ve allowed myself to become “too busy.”  The result?  Well, let’s just say that I haven’t been my usual joyful self. I gave myself an inner boost this morning, though, and it made such a difference that I felt inspired to share.

Here are just some of the benefits you might receive in a 20-minute meditation:

• Be reminded that your life is not about the outside world and all its complications.
• Experience a sense of privilege to have been given the opportunity to live.
• Feel closely connected with the energy behind all of life.
• Remember how you are really supposed to show up.
• Become refreshed with a deep sense of peace and joy

Would you agree that this list of benefits reads like a seminar you might pay hundreds of dollars for?

Meditation is free. Here’s a great wikiHow article to help you get started.

I’d love to hear your comments on what meditation has done for you.

10 Simple Tips for Managing Stress

I’ve been invited by Dress for Success San Francisco to give a presentation next week on managing stress. As I finished my initial preparation, it occurred to me that with all that is happening in our world these days, everyone could benefit from these 10 simple tips:

1. Eliminate the idea of lack. Recognize that opportunities to create more abundance are all around you. It’s just a matter of focusing on them and following through.
2. Look to see a benefit in the stress point – a silver lining or a valuable lesson learned. Choose to see tough economic times as opportunities to work hard and learn how to do what you do better to get and keep the job.
3. Exercise your right to respond peacefully. A challenging situation does not require an emotionally charged response. Your choice to react peacefully does not mean that you agree with or support the stressor; rather it demonstrates your choice to minimize its negative impact.
4. Take 15 to 20 minutes a day to sit quietly, relax and surround yourself with the energy of peace.
5. Learn to accept things you can’t change. Choose to believe that the universe knows more than you about what is best.
6. Find an exercise you enjoy and do it regularly.
7. Avoid negative people and environments as much as possible. Do whatever you can to surround yourself with peaceful influences.
8. Learn to say no. Don’t promise too much. Give yourself enough time to get things done.
9. Trust in the goodness of the universe. Expect that what you need will be provided.
10. Join a support group or seek out professionals if you can’t cope on your own. Consider seeking help as a sign that you are smart enough to know it and strong enough to go for it.

The Secret Benefit of Blogging

In my career development business, Inner Architect, we train job seekers how to create proactive employment campaigns with a blog as a hub for delivering one’s value and expertise. I love to encourage participants that your blog is a vehicle to become what you want to be known for:

• In the process of researching, you step into your expertise.
• By publishing articles, you show up for who you want to become.

Whether you are already a blogger, or thinking about becoming one, consider what your blog can do for you:

• Provide you with the opportunity to grow into what you want to become. If you are just beginning to blog, you have a clean writing slate to work with. See this as an opportunity to build your expertise, and consequently, what you are known for, in the direction you want to go. Don’t feel limited to write articles about where you’ve been and what you now know. Give yourself the freedom to move in whatever direction you want by writing articles that showcase your knowledge or expertise in that subject. There is great wisdom behind the statement “fake it until you make it.”

• Give your writing voice credibility. Allow yourself to write with the same level of confidence and authority that you have demonstrated throughout your professional career. Focus on the value of your expertise and don’t worry about who might poke holes in what you have to say.

• Think of yourself as a problem solver. Offer solutions, how-to’s and tips for addressing a specific need, issue or problem.

Remember, we’ve all been given unique gifts, talents and skills. You serve yourself and those around you best when you share what is uniquely yours to give.

Emotional Support for the Unemployed

This past Friday a recently laid-off Silicon Valley engineer fatally shot three former co-workers, including the CEO. This brutal incident of workplace violence was just one that makes up 20% of all violent crimes as reported by the San Jose Mercury News.

What does this workplace violence statistic say?

Violence is a product of anger and fear. While the motive of this particular killer remains unknown, the story suggests a couple of theories:

1. Anger over the job loss
2. Fear of financial insecurity
3. Anger or fear over loss of identity without a job

Our nation is now grappling with the toughest unemployment rate in 14 years. The U.S. Labor Department reported that 1.2 million people have lost their jobs this year. With October producing 240,000, the total number is likely to surpass 1.5 million by the end of the year.

How can we support the emotions of the unemployed? Having lost a paycheck myself, I empathize with the fears about money and carving out the next gig. Yet a job transition can be viewed as an invitation to revisit what really matters at the end of each of our lives:

How well did you use your talents and expertise and develop your inner potential?

Give yourself permission to trust in the good of the universe. Look at losing your job as a message that:

• Your talents and expertise are no longer needed at that company.
• You are being freed so that you can contribute to a company that needs you more.

As a nation we can look at the vast number of jobs being lost as a message that:

• We need to shift the focus of our work force to jobs that better contribute to what our country needs now.

Our new President is not responsible for initiating change. The unemployment situation demonstrates that change is happening now and we are all involved in the process. Unfortunately, change is often uncomfortable at first. Yet trust in the good of the universe and believe that you will arrive in a better place once you land.